I Make Stuff Up

Attorney: “On the receipt for Certified Mail, where do you put the Attention:? I know on the card it would be addressed exactly as on the letter, but it won’t fit in that place on the receipt.”

Me: “Yeah, on the receipt we just put it in the same box under the name of the company.”

I have no freaking idea if this is true or not, but it makes sense to me. Why don't you try asking the person who has been doing these for the last 6 months, as opposed to the person who hasn't done one in over 6 months. Is it because she is an idiot and didn't know what to do so she left that part off?

Attorney: “If you have a document that says 'attached is a copy of another document', do we stamp that document copy?”

Me: “Uhh, is it already marked as a copy in any other way? Is it marked as an exhibit or is it just attached?”

Attorney: “It’s just attached; I think we do mark it because no, it’s not marked in any other way and if we stamp it they won’t think we accidentally attached the original. It’s not an exhibit.”

Me: “Yeah, we stamp it.”

Seriously? You're the attorney. You're talking about filing a court document and you don't know? At least she had pretty much already answered that one.

This will only come back to bite my little behind if some Post Office Nazi decides to call and explain that the correct format is to attach a rider to the receipt and any idiot old enough to write should know that, or if the clerk’s office calls and tells her she is more of an idiot than the people working over there and how on earth could she possibly not know that she shouldn't have stamped that document.

Or if she gets mad at me. Like now.

About a month ago she calls me and says "Print out the docket sheet on this client." So I did. I put it on her desk with a note that said "Please review, per your request" and left it there.

Yesterday she brought it back to me with another note on it that said "Why did you print this, what did I want it for? I don't see your timeslip for the research so I don't know what to put in my timeslip for the review." Uhhh....

Frustrated because I could get my time machine working to go back and use my mind-reading skills to determine why I was printing the freaking docket sheet, I wrote a to-the-point, what-do-you-expect-of-me note:

"I don't know what you wanted the docket for, you never told me. However, if you cannot remember, I would say, logically and reasonably, that you probably wanted it to see if the subpoena was served on whoever, since that is the last entry and the only piece of information we did not already have."

I get it back.... "Oh, I remember now, it was to see what happened on the 2/12/07 court date, which is not shown on here. See if it has been updated and print out a new one."

Convenient. And then I spent the rest of the day avoiding her because I could not answer a question without eliciting the you-are-so-wrong-and-I-am-going-to-put-you-in-your-place response.